Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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