bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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