I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
