I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
