Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
