its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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