Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Congratulations! We have a period
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