all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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