First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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