used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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