6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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