He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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