I swear she didn't look like that last week.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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