Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
