I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
