i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
