Pants 0. Shit 1.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
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