i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
