"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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