god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I supernannyed him into submission
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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