The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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