Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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