Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
