I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
