look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
