Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
