I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
