its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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