shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
