So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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