you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize