Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
