Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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