you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
