you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
