So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
