Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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