so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
