fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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