i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
