singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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