There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
