i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize