sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
