Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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