Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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