did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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