Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You were trust falling into bushes
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
