U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
