Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
