I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
