New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize