i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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