Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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