Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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