come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
