Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
