I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
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maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
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Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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