maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
