Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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