You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
