Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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