Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize